Saturday, November 20, 2010

If Bock Could Talk


If the Winter Bock or Nip could talk it would be a loquacious lager. It would say:

“I am a brilliantly bold yet subtly smooth and delicious mahogany hued Weihnactsbockbier or Christmas Bock...strong enough to take the chill out of the winter air and the apprehension out your game. You won’t need mistletoe after you savor my succulently sweet and toasty tastiness. So be a good Boy Scout…prepare, and bring cab fare.

I am a fabulous friend of food, especially our rich and hardy holiday menu that accompanies me this celestial season. My bodaciousness blends with the spicy warmth of the Winter Chili…my flavor is as big as a Buffalo, whether in slider or burger form. My magnificent malty mouthfeel makes me the Bourbon of beer, the perfect partner to the Maker’s Meatloaf and Flatiron Steak. My Hersbrucker hops, imported for Germany, accentuate the herbal essence of the Rocky Mountain Rainbow Trout and Chicken Pot Pie. Finally, my hints of dark chocolate both contrast and compliment the creaminess of Pumpkin cheesecake.

Large life sustaining lagers like me originated a millennium ago, brewed to help devout monks facilitate their fasting for Advent…my higher alcohol content quelled hunger pangs, simultaneously summoning spiritual visions. Now I provide fortification against the elements for the more modern Deutschland yuletide tradition of outdoor Christmas Markets called Weihnachtsmarkt or the American equivalent indoor orgy of unbridled consumerism that is “The Mall.”

I am produced with prodigious pounds of the finest malted barley imported from the 131 year-old family owned Weyermann Malting Company of Bamberg, Germany. Marvelously bready Munich Malt, caramel-lishious CaraMunich, and dark roasted Carfa coalesce in a nicely nutty, slightly spicy, gumptious glass of goddess kissed goodness that you can’t resist.

Hoppy Holidays…It’s time to ROCK OUT WITH YOUR BOCK OUT!”

Original Gravity: 18
Alcohol by Volume: 7.5%
Bittering Units: 27

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